Last year, we took a long road trip during the growing season. I left my garden completely unattended and came home to a jungle of flowers, basil, and tomato plants all interwoven together and overflowing out of the raised beds, up and over the trellises, and through the door. I debated cleaning it all out and tidying it up, but decided to leave the chaos that had grown into a beautiful display I could never have orchestrated. My intervention might have produced neat, orderly rows and well-staked stems, but I would have missed out on nature’s wild and exotic masterpiece.

Our chickens roam our garden during the off-season, and thus, I have tomato plants growing this year where I did not plant them. Carefully, I dug them up and planted them in the tomato beds. I’ve relocated many plants this year, trying to create a little more structure and better spacing, but the more I intervene, the more wilty and sickly my plants become. Some have bounced back after being transplanted, but it seems my garden flourishes best by having a mind of its own.

Tonight, I was walking the dog around a beautiful pond surrounded by wildflowers. These untouched, unhindered plants have been given the space to follow one voice only – the voice of their Maker. They are beautiful. They are wild. Some grow in pairs, others in clusters. Some sprout up all on their own amongst other tall grasses, shrubs, and weeds. Some areas are full of edible arrangements, with a backsplash of lily pads and croaking frogs. The touch of Queen Anne’s Lace among the flowers gives the field almost a look of a gentle, mid-July snow. What did man do to orchestrate such a thing? Nothing but throw out some seeds and give them the space to grow.

There is a beautiful, harmonious relationship balance between our Maker and His created ones. He doesn’t need any of us to do His work, but He generously empowers us to participate in His redemptive plan for fallen humanity. It’s a joy and a privilege when He calls us up for a task of planting seeds, watering, or harvesting. But too often we call ourselves up without an invitation. We launch forward with Godly arguments and righteous frustrations, only to hit a wall of hard hearts that the Spirit has not yet softened – or may never soften if the heart is unwilling. Or maybe we’ve hit a wall because the Spirit is doing something different than what we think He should be doing. Oftentimes, we want to move ahead of the Holy Spirit in our own power, only to realize that this was a task we assumed on our own. There is a task, however, that we are always invited to, and that is prayer.

The other night I had a dream. There was a lady who invited me to follow her. I knew who she was. She was sent by the Holy Spirit as His ambassador to advocate on His behalf. I knew that by following her, I was following the Spirit. A man tried to follow her but got frustrated and ran away. She didn’t seem upset or perplexed. She just looked at me and waited. She handed me some shoes with laces too long, so she reached down and cut them to fit my feet. I knew once she cut them, they could no longer be used for anyone but me. This was a task custom-fit…for me. I had one job to do. It was to stay behind my leader and not get ahead. She led me up a long escalator and around a balcony that veered left. Others tried to slowly follow, but they got impatient and gave up. I continued walking behind her, feeling peaceful and trusting. Before I knew it, we were back. “That’s it?” I asked. “That’s it.” She replied. It felt too easy. It wasn’t nearly as daunting as I thought it would be. The only difficulty was to have perfect trust, to slow down, and to move forward only when being led.

I woke up and all I could say was “Woe. That was convicting.”

How much clearer could this message be! God wants to use me! That’s great! He has a custom-made plan for my life. Awesome! But I have to step back, slow down, and let Him lead. It’s simple, but it’s not easy. Slowing down actually speeds things up, but requires complete and absolute trust. All the supernatural power I need for a job is to first, wait to be invited, and secondly, follow the Holy Spirit without getting ahead.

The word “meekness” also keeps showing up in my devotions. I’ve learned that meekness is not weakness, but rather righteous energy, zeal, and passion contained and released only when the Spirit leads. Meekness is like a warhorse with all the power and strength to defeat an enemy, but surrendered completely to its rider. When the rider says “Stop,” It stops. When the rider says, “Go,” it goes. The horse’s strength is not in its muscles and stamina, but rather in the ability to be self-controlled. The warhorse is trained to listen to its master. Are we? Our tongues have the power to kill and to produce life. Our emotions and spiritual convictions give us great energy, but our victory is not in how well we can argue or articulate. It’s not whether we have succeeded in manipulating or conquering our opponent. Our victory is making it to the finish line without getting ahead of the Holy Spirit and trusting the results to Him. Meekness is a zealous but trusting warhorse, prayerfully and patiently ready to be used by God, who steps out of its stall when called forward, and is controlled and reigned in by the Spirit of God.

The opposite of this is a proud warhorse. Full of good intentions, it steps out of its stall, spreading manure everywhere, trampling on the master’s work, and stifling it. It’s the man who gave up in my dream and ran ahead in frustration, saying, “This is too hard.” It was only hard because he was working with his own strength. It’s amazing how quickly and easily God can accomplish His work when we stay out of His way, where we’re not invited, or follow Him closely when we are.

It wasn’t but a month that we were gone on our long road trip before there was a massive harvest of flowers and tomatoes. All I did was plant some seeds, get out of the way, and God orchestrated something more beautiful than I could have arranged on my own.

This year, I’ve struggled to exercise self-control in the garden. I want so badly to uproot plants where they don’t belong instead of just stepping back and seeing what might become of them, giving them a mind of their own to flourish as their Maker directs. Oh, how this is so hard with people, too. I want them to think like I think or to control their actions into a pretty line of well-staked tomatoes, according to how I see fit. Do I trust God enough to take the reins and allow Him to orchestrate His plan in their lives, realizing that His plan might be a lot more beautiful – even more holy – than MINE? Perhaps by stepping back and following His lead to either stay out or stay behind Him, I will soon find a field of beautiful wildflowers that just needed space to grow.